You already know Eva. She was Hugo’s “mistress,” the “girlfriend” of the “revolution.” She must be sobbing today. After finishing her studies at a rather expensive university, she moved on to study law and became, according to the popular wisdom of chavismo, a “renowned author,” an “investigative journalist,” a “TV host,” and an “editor at Correo del Orinoco,” even an “expert on Venezuela,” and yes, a “Venezuelan.” Just imagine how desperate those revolutionaries are for useful idiots, that Eva, an American citizen, published her first “book” in Havana. In short, Eva is to Venezuela what Edward Snowden is to the United States. Although she has never revealed anything relevant, that’s what this modern Tokyo Rose wishes to be.
Setting aside baseless propaganda, Eva truly climbed the ranks of the revolution. First, she managed to get a job as a lawyer for Andrés Izarra (the one who laughs hysterically upon hearing Venezuela’s crime rates), even when she wasn’t qualified to practice law. Still in her native America, she lied her way into being part of a rapidly expanding propaganda machine, styled after Goebbels, known as the “Information Office of Venezuela.” From there, she packed her guitar and moved to Caracas, where she bought an apartment in one of the prettiest areas, obtained her Venezuelan citizenship in a box of Corn Flakes, and officially became a propagandist for Hugo Chávez. In that role, she traveled as part of Chávez’s extensive entourage and met wonderful and “truly nice” individuals, like Lukashenko, Ahmadinejad, and other role models. Just a few years later, she was given millions of dollars to run and edit one of the revolution’s propaganda rags. But rampant crime and Caracas’s bad infrastructure would play against Eva’s revolutionary dreams. So when she got pregnant, she packed her guitar, sandals, and the photo with Fidel and Hugo, and moved back to her native Brooklyn, where she bought another property herself (while Eva seems to have snagged a bargain, similar apartments in the same building cost about double what she paid). Chavismo propaganda is a lucrative profession, as attested by Oliver Stone, Danny Glover, Mark Weisbrot, and Joe Kennedy. Once in New York, she accomplished another feat: hosting her own TV show on the lighthouse of independent and objective journalism of Putin: Russia Today. A truly inspiring career, no doubt.
Not long ago, Eva informed the world about a plan to oust chavismo from power. Just imagine the outrage, the fear! Here she was again, doing what she does best, presenting evidence (of unknown origin and totally unfounded to this day) of a plot orchestrated by none other than FTI Consulting, led by a guy named Frank Holder. Just imagine that! Eva had just revealed THE PLAN!
The reality is, of course, a bit less fanatical. Eva was reprimanded no less than by the New York Times for the incredibly stupid things she continues to publish. She will go on to be “one of the most prominent elements of the expanding state propaganda complex in Venezuela,” according to the very accurate and factual description of the Times. So basically, Eva took some A4 sheets, wrote a piece of fiction, misaligned some logos, scanned the thing, and published it as the latest “evidence” of the imperial destabilization against her paymasters. Her digital footprint is found in all the metadata of the document on which she bases her ridiculous accusations. Given her poor research skills, in the mad rush to print about the latest invasion, she missed that FTI Consulting is the PR and “due diligence” firm favored by the boliburguesía. That part never made it to Eva’s “investigation.” Derwick Associates is a client. Ricardo Fernández Barrueco is a client. David Osio is a client. Moris Beracha is a client. Rafael Sarria is a client. The OFAC designated capo, Hugo Carvajal, is a client. This means the worst scum of Venezuela’s boligarcs, a class that became such only due to the rampant corruption of chavismo, are clients of FTI Consulting and its star executive Frank Leon Holder. Now, what are the chances that a company that has made a living dealing with those thugs would jeopardize a significant cash flow by ousting the very source of that income? Only in Eva’s small world…